Why do other people make these things their business?
I understand that they are simply being friendly and attempting small-talk since four kids tends to be a rather large topic starter. But what really gets me... It's always other moms that say these things to me!
I've only had issues with one pregnancy and it didn't even make me high-risk or anything like that. Sure, we've had our kids in rapid succession but that's because we tried for years before the first and were worried about having the same issues again.
No matter how much our families ignore this: Our children were planned.
We love our kids. We take care of our kids. I stay at home and raise them, unless Hubby isn't working and then he spends even more time with them. I've already signed up to start homeschooling. We teach our children without books or things like that right now because they're more "hands on" and we're fine with that!
Why can't everyone else be fine with our family and how we do things?
Yes, we're younger and have four kids but we wanted them. We love them.
I know several girls that have four kids with different guys or aren't married, etc. It sucks because I get "Do they have the same father?" questions a lot. Yes! "Are you married?" Yes! Why in the world is it so hard for people to comprehend?
My aunt laughs when I tell her these things. She says if any of these people actually knew us at all they'd know the kids were all ours and that we are happily in love. Maybe she sees us differently than everyone else, because questions like those even pop up in our own families.
It's discouraging. It's hard to answer these kinds of questions when they actually bother you. They bother me. While it's nice to be able to start up a conversation with a stranger, having them tell me that and then go on about giving one of their kids up and having another that was raised as an only child--being an only child, it makes me cringe to think about--doesn't make me feel too good about myself.
Honestly, with the ease at which I've had children I've thought about being a surrogate. I think it would be wonderful to help others like that! But I'm sure my doctor would hear nothing of it. Of course, she also doesn't want me to get "fixed" because I'm so young.
In any case, if you have kids or not, if you happen to be attempting to strike up a random conversation with another person and they are, perhaps, the mother or father of multiple children, please please please please please hold your tongue. Small talk doesn't have to involve invasive questions about sex and anatomy, it could just be as simple as asking how old the kids are or their names!