In Reply To... "7 Things You Should Never Say to a Mother in Her Twenties" on Babble
I absolutely HATE that everyone assumes 1) my kids are all by different men because I am young and 2) that they were “mistakes.”
We were serious right from the start and have only spent maybe a week
apart from one another over the course of six years. (We are both 25.)
We didn’t get married right away while we were attempting to conceive
our first, which took well over a year, because we wanted to be married
on a specific day in the future that we had both picked out.
Heaven forbid, that day was shortly after finding out that we’d
finally gotten pregnant! No one believes us when we tell them that we
didn’t just quickly get married because of the pregnancy either,
especially since we didn’t tell our families we were trying to begin
with. (They are exceptionally nosy and, honestly, it’s none of their
business what we do in bed!)
Since we had trouble conceiving the first time, we started trying
again shortly after our daughter was born. Surprise! She was born twelve
days before her big sister’s first birthday.
The plan was then to wait a few years and try for a boy. That didn’t
happen and he came sooner than we thought on the day before his youngest
sister’s first birthday. We’re fine with that. We love them all! They
are our children and they were planned enough, because we were afraid we
would never have any.
Now we’re on number four, due in less than a month. We’ll both be turning 26 afterwards. The due date is our fourth anniversary.
My doctor doesn’t even like that we have so many children, and our
families are not supportive either. It’s not nice to hear these horrible
things from people that don’t know us. It’s harder to hear it from
people who are supposed to support your decisions like your family
members.
Just because everyone else is waiting until they’re 40 to have kids
doesn’t mean everyone has to. Some people really do find love and
happiness at a young age. I don’t think we should be criticized for
that.
The only person in my “family” that understands is my childless aunt
who knows my husband and I. She doesn’t see why people would ever ask us
why we have children and the horrible, “So, are they all by the same
guy?” questions. She doesn’t get it because she knows how we are
together. It is a pity that no one else sees it that way.
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